Monday, July 13, 2009

John the Explorator

You couldn't make it up, really you couldn't. Not only has that nice Mr Key revealed that the job-creating, recession-beating National Cycleway will be somewhat more modest than originally envisaged, he has also admitted that once it was a more ambitious-for-New Zealand project than any of us had known. According to One News, "a race like the Tour de France had been planned and was to be named the Sir Edmund Hillary Explorator."

He has a way with words, that Mr Key, his own particular way. I have no idea what is meant by an explorator, nor why it should be named after that famous cyclist, Sir Edmund "Spokes" Hillary. Whether I shall ever find out is in doubt, although Mr Key says "there's still potentially over time a possibility," which is about as clear as he can be. After all, "we are just building the cycleway a bit like a patch work quilt;" you see, "Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is the New Zealand cycleway going to be."

It is a journey you will understand, through the English language and Mr Key's various fantastic visions; a journey going forward, and downward. Potentially over time there is a possibility it will end like this:



6 comments:

Giovanni said...

Explorator is a perfectly cromulent word. Like explorer, but 65% more pretentious.

Philip said...

I presume it's going to be nominatified after Hillary on the reasonabilitude that the dodecamense of his neonatalisation has a not inconsiderable terminodigital similitude to the present one.

Word Verification: nessent, a rising furriner.

Tom Semmens said...

Luckily for Mr. ke, there are no Romans left to take umbrage at his implication that building a sophicated Empire that lasted some five centuries is an achievement roughly equal with building a few kilometres of cycleway out of crushed lime.

Samuel said...

The race in and of itself is not such a stupid idea. People already flock to the South Island for cycle touring and a race could presumably be run on existing roads in some very pretty parts of the country.

I think we can agree that naming it after Hillary would have been a dumb, obvious move. Harry "Mile Eater" Watson, first NZer to ride the Tour de France and multiple record-holder even now, would be a worthy cycling-related candidate. The Tour de Watson, sadly, is not such an easy marketing proposition.

Giovanni said...

OTOH, if it was the Romans building the cycleway, it wouldn't take much longer than a day and it would be straight as a bullet, so the race itself couldn't be expected to last too long.

Jack said...

Samuel - we already get international representation at New Zealand's main tours, the Tour of Southland and the Trust House Cycle Classic.