My apologies, gentle reader, I have not been very attentive of late. I have been occupied with the thesis. But I want to assure you that Tove does not have me.
Despite this avowed intent by The Girl with the Moomin Tattoo, I have remained a free man. I am not held captive in a dungeon with Buchanan and other academics called Paul who have offended Dr Dentith. Nor have sundry products of the Acme Corporation been launched against me. My life has remained uneventful in respect of attempts on it.
Quite what grievance she has against me is a mystery to me, but she might at least have spelled my name correctly. And Dr Dentith, being an expert on conspiracy theories, might have advised her that making such announcements in public on the Twitter rather gives the game away.