And we're back. My apologies, gentle reader, for the absence of posts last week.
So, how about that Letterman blackmail case then? This has to be the worst blackmail threat ever: "give me money or I will write a screenplay about you." Did the perp not think about how difficult it is to get a screenplay in front of a producer? And then, even if he sold the rights, the project could be stalled in pre-production for years. And then, just as the film finally goes into production, somebody else will release a film about Conan O'Brien's private life.
And don't even think about getting a book published. Books these days are all about vampires, wretched childhoods or running away to a village in Tuscany where the locals are hilariously infuriating but the food is wonderful. If you can combine the three you are on to a winner. But revelations of a celebrity having sex with interns are, like, so 20th Century. Besides, using a book for blackmail will get you nowhere as fast as that screenplay: "you better pay, Letterman: I already have an agent looking at my synopsis. She's suggesting a rewrite and we haven't got a deal yet; but, by the 2011 Frankfurt Book Fair you'll so be in trouble."
But then stranger things have happened. As the Guardian report reminds us: "In December 2005 a judge in New Mexico granted a restraining order against Letterman to a woman who claimed he was sending her coded proposals of marriage through his television show."
Moving right on, the Ig Nobel prizes have been announced and the prize for Literature goes to the Garda:
Awarded to the entire police force of Ireland for issuing more than 50 penalties to a man they supposed to be the most persistent driving offender in the country: a Mr Prawo Jazdy, whose name in Polish means "driver's licence". An investigation held earlier this year revealed officers had mistakenly taken down the wrong details from motorists' documents.And finally, the Spanish Prime Minister has a Goth family. The Guardian may be too coy to print the photograph, but Goths in Hot Weather has no such qualms.