Thursday, January 14, 2010

The end of Atheism

Sorry to bring you bad news, chaps and chapesses, but it seems that the game's up. We were all wrong; there is a god, and that god is the Christian God. I realise this must come as a shock to you all, but I read it in the Herald, so it must be true. What's more, the proof has come from a Scientist:
True, there is just the faintest possibility that we are here by chance, although the odds are stacked hugely against it. Yet here we are. The conclusion is clear - if our world is unlikely to be the product of chance there is quite probably a creator.
So that's it then. Dr Jeff Tallon, a physicist specialising in the fields of superconductivity and nanotechnology, knows his Redeemer liveth, so he is right and we are all wrong. The likes of Uroskin might try to put up a valiant defence, but you can't argue with Science. We might as well all go home.

It might be worth noting, before we turn out the lights, that Dr Tallon is hiding his light under a bushel. For he has so much more to say about science, such as this:
The explanation of the stages of creation put forward in Victor Relf’s web page ( are largely independent of the Wiseman hypothesis and should probably be discussed separately. I remain open to this kind of interpretation in general terms but there are details that I wouldn’t agree with. Henry Morris developed the idea that antediluvian Earth possessed a stable canopy of water vapour in the upper atmosphere that was precipitated in the flood and only then was the rainbow seen, so I don’t agree that these details have been overlooked. I do agree that the idea of overlapping epochs seems to be unavoidable.
You see, that is where the water for the Flood came from; it was up there in the upper atmosphere, until God brought it down. Otherwise, there would not be enough water to flood the Earth. But Science has explained it all.

Funny chap, God: all this time He has been using Garth George as his Elect Vessel in the pages of the Herald, but now he brings us Dr Tallon, who can prove God's existence (and benevolence) with Science. I, for one, am looking forward to hearing what Dr Tallon has to say about dinosaurs.

I know you will all need cheering up, so here's Clare Grogan singing about casual sex:

Update: God caused the Haiti earthquake because the slaves made a pact with Satan.


Keri Hulme said...

O! What a devastating 3 sentences! Soooo....scientific.

verificating word: pophet =the exact term for twiddlers like Dr Tallon.

Jake said...

The question we must all get to, when thinking along these lines, is: did the flood dissolve the whole world, which was then remade, or did it only destroy part of it? The answers to these questions will help us explain why we find seashells buried in mountains, and why the savages in the New World don't seem to speak any of the European languages. When we understand this, we can finally leave the seventeenth century.

Uroskin said...

Did Dr Tallon get his doctorate from "Denver State University" too? (See: Davy, John)

Rusty said...

Doctor Tallon...fantastic name for a mad scientist.

Paul said...

He is a genuine physicist, of high repute. But, as another remarked on a message board, it is obvious he is not a cosmologist.

Richard said...

While Dr Tallon's argument was highly persuasive, I'm still at a loss as to why every sperm is sacred.

Rusty said...

That's because he's a physicist. And they never get the chicks, so he wouldn't know.

Peter in Dundee said...

There is one main reason that the physical sciences (and engineering) contain more religious believers than biology does. That is that when you are a working biologist Dobzhansky's dictum* is confirmed so often it has become mundane. We are confronted by evolution as a fact so often it is very hard to maintain belief in a creator god.

The creationists realise this, which is why it is evolution and not cosmology that attracts their attention.

*Nothing in biology, absolutely nothing, makes sense without evolution.

The other is that the physical sciences encourage the idea that things you cannot describe by equations are unscientific or don't matter. Biologists encounter shades of grey and variation and have learned to deal with them.

The thing to ask Dr Tallon is where all the water went afterwards. We know for eg that microcomets are adding water to the atmosphere all the time so it didn't all boil into space and there are no voids under the crust big enough to take enough water to drown all the land.

And then there is the original story in The Epic of Gilgamesh that is older than and contradicts much of the biblical one.

Anonymous said...

Typical response from the Left. You just hate the proof of God, cause then you might have to believe. Oh, your morals are in the swamp.

Anonymous said...

Casual sex, casual pregnancy, casual abortion. Yep, that sums up you people. Lack of integrity and morals, and common sense.

Paul said...

Quite the opposite, Anonymous: If there were proof of God, nobody would have to believe. Quite what this has to do with my morals is anybody's guess.

And before you go jumping to conclusions, I'll have you know that some of my readers only have casual sex with people of the same sex, which makes pregnancy as unlikely as proof of God's existence. And you say we lack common sense.

Anonymous said...

Pat Robertson and Haiti. Oh, this is ridiculous! How can someone that old possibly still be alive?

Craig Y