Org*sm addict

During this, the season of tragedy on our open roads and in our seas, there is little cheer. Our trusted media outlets are filled with stories of death, disaster, abuse and bigamy. So we can take what little comfort we can find, such as the simple pleasures of media releases from representatives of the muttering classes. The Sensible Sentencing Trust may be resting on its laurels but Family First has stepped forward to take up the baton of righteousness. This time, they have a survey.

In one example, a mixed class of boys and girls were asked by the AIDS Foundation if they had masturbated lately and were given condoms and strawberry-flavoured lubricant. They were also given a leaflet featuring graphic pictures, terms including “c*ck” and “w*nk”, and advice on the best condoms. Reports last year highlighted that children as young as 12 are being taught about oral sex and told it’s acceptable to play with a girl’s private parts as long as “she’s okay with it”. In other cases, 14-year-old girls are being taught how to put condoms on plastic penises, and one female teacher imitated the noises she made during org*sm to her class of 15-year-olds. One concerned father took his 12-year-old son out of a sex education class at his all-boy school after he came home upset about what had happened during one of the lessons. It included a question-and-answer session that focused on, “I have learned that my girlfriend has a thing called a clit*ris. I really want to play with it. Is that okay?” The answer was: “Yes, if you ask her and she’s okay with it.”

The survey was conducted by Curia, the polling firm run by Mr David Farrar, the firm which believes:

polling is an art, as well as a science. The most essential aspect to any poll is taking the time to understand the key drivers for clients, and ensuring the questions asked will be of maximum value.

Clearly, maximum value was achieved in this case but what are the key drivers for Mr Bob McCoskrie, National Director of Family First NZ? An unhealthy obsession with what goes on in other people's knickers, it would seem, as well as an extraordinary squeamishness about the terminology: it is not just rude works like c*ck, w*nk or S*ntorum that offend B*b, but accepted medical terms like org*sm, clit*ris or possibly kn*e. For Mr Farrar, taking the time to understand Mr McC*skrie must have been challenging.

Here are some otters chasing a butterfly, courtesy of Ever So Strange: