The examined life

To quote: "I made a point in my second book - actually it was a point Socrates made 3000 years - four or 5000 years ago when he said: 'Don't worry about why I might be saying something - have a listen to what I'm saying' and of course what he said laid the foundation for modern civilisation - even though he was hung for it at the time."

David Bain, like Socrates - the philosopher who was hanged three, four or five thousand years ago for laying the foundation of modern civilisation - has had his day in court. Unlike Socrates, he was not obliged to drink hemlock by the jury. So we shall have to endure him for months and possibly years to come, as the suppressed evidence is disclosed, the coroner deliberates and Joe Karam huffs and puffs. It really is all to ghastly to bear thinking about.

So instead, let's think about the state of gossip. The latest blathering by La Glucina de Lammermoor suggests that the artform is in a crisis. You will note that this was an event that La Glucina did not attend and which anyone could watch on television. And what does she reveal to us, exclusively, through the agency of her spies? That people in a pub bought drinks, which included beer, a sophisticated glass of red and fizz, which may not have been ritzy. This is not trying hard. Perhaps Glucina needed the competition provided by Bridget Saunders to thrive. Now Saunders has left the building, will Glucina descend into introversion, posting her post-literate tittle and tattle from her fireside? Who knows, and who cares?

I know I don't. Still less do I care that Brad Pitt bought a painting at an art fair or that someone called Johnny Palermo is dead. So little do I care that I cannot be bothered continuing this post, which was to have been a discourse on the cult of celebrity, which would have included some exclusive gossip from last night's Great Blend. But I just lost interest.