Telling stories

Prime Minister John Key warned Labour yesterday against pressing for any disclosure of the Endeavour Trust documents of Finance Minister Bill English over his Wellington home.

Responding to calls from Labour's Pete Hodgson to see the trust documents or the minutes of its meetings, Mr Key said:

"I caution the member if he wants to have an open disclosure of every trust document and every superannuation document of every single member of Parliament, it would be a very interesting road to go down."

It is at times like these that you find out who people really are. That nice Mr Key, it turns out, is really not that nice at all. Mr English is a crook.

It is only because Honourable Members can make the rules to please themselves that Mr English is at liberty. Anybody else who pretended he had no financial interest in his own family's trust would be laughed out of court, which is where he deserves to be. And yet Mr Key is backing him to the hilt. One wonders what hold Mr English has over Mr Key; after all, it is common knowledge that they cannot abide each other and they are seen together rarely. Perhaps it is Mr English's knowledge of the details of that other trust -The Waitemata Trust by which National's backers make their anonymous donations - that keeps him where he is. Or perhaps it is something to do with the Hollow Men scandal.Or perhaps neither of the above. Perhaps it is simply that sense of entitlement, which motivates Mr English to take what he wants and Mr Key to do what he wants.

In any case, it is a shame that Mr Goff is about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking party. And it is a shame that his is an arse-kicking party. We wait for that moment when Mr Goff will take command and show his principles and his vision, but it may never come. When Mr Goff muttered about smacking, lightbulbs and showerheads it showed no more than his lack of substance. The only political idea with which he has been associated is Rogernomics, a dogmatic attachment which mysteriously did not prevent him achieving the leadership.

One ought to say something about Mr Goff's deputy, international woman of mystery Annette King, but it difficult to think of anything she has said or done.

So Mr Key can continue to do whatever he likes, safe in the knowledge that Mr Goff would not be so impolite to make any real objection. Mr Key also has the support of Rodney Hide's Two Percent Solution, and of the Iwi Party, who have their own corporate interests to serve – as was shown by their recent reinterpretation of the phrase bottom line. Even the Green Party has sold its birthright for a mess of pottage - an organic, fairtrade mess, but pottage nonetheless.

Which leaves you and me. Cold out here, isn't it?

The Charlatans