Saturday, April 18, 2009

Situation: root

"Our first choice is a fruit day," said Pierpaolo Petrassi, Tesco's senior product development manager. "We seek to avoid root and leaf days. It may be a little step beyond what consumers can comprehend. We have so many other things to educate consumers about. So many remain confused about screw caps, for example. We don't want to make it more complicated."
Further evidence that Ingerland is descending into imbecility: Tesco, the vast supermarket chain which effectively controls what remains of the British economy, has decided to open wine only when the moon and the stars are in the right aspect. Marks and Spencer has followed suit. The theory behind this practice was first suggested by Rudolf Steiner, here described as a philosopher-scientist; in fact he was neither a philosopher nor a scientist, but a crank. Steiner, like so many other cranks before and since, also attempted to be an architect, designing a few buildings in what he claimed was an organic style. That his hideous buildings lack any consistency of style has escaped his followers, who are mostly drawn from that section of the Middle Class which is prepared to believe anything so long as it is preposterous.

Not surprisingly, Tesco has chosen not to make any of this nonsense known to its customers, people who are confused by screw caps.

Pic unrelated


Peter in Dundee said...

Regardless of the pic being unrelated it is a very good one. Symbolism agogo. And you are right about the Steiner 'architecture' it is horrible, curves for the sake of having curves and no relationship to proportion, they are lumpen.

Its a good job I can't afford to drink wine this weekend, though what does the theory say about live beer? best hops bitterness on leaf days but best floral notes on flower days? All due to a batty old woman in Germany . . .

So this is how you rise up the corporate ladder (evil thoughts forming).

Warren EDWARDES said...

So Tesco's customers are confused by screwcaps. Clockwise or anti-clockwise?

Giovanni said...

I think "We have so many other things to educate consumers about" is the most terrifying phrase I've heard in a fair while. They're thinking of opening Tesco Camps, clearly.