Flying Moron Class

Note to Robert Fisk: shut up. Really. Just shut up. We really do not care, at all, that the world's luxury hôtels are now asking you to use your towels more than once. It may be a struggle for you, but it is one that most of us will not suffer. It's like the Beatles' Taxman and Amy Winehouse's drink problem. We will never be privileged enough to feel such pain, so just shut up and stop being a dick.

Speaking of dicks, here's Jim Hopkins:

There's supposed to be an absolute rule in science: if the facts don't fit the theory, the theory must be wrong. But these beneficiaries of massive research grants have adopted a more creative approach. In their world, the First Law of Prestige and Avarice applies; when the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

You will see, if you can be bothered to read his overwrought prose, that Jim Hopkins has discovered that climate change is a massive fraud. He has heard of an email from one scientist to another which suggests to him that evidence was faked, and that is enough to declare the argument over. Which will be a pity, for Mr Hopkins has contributed so much to the spurious debate which he and other grumpy old men have perpetrated on us. This, after all, is a man who blames it all on women, some of whom are famous.

Of course, the great advantage of having a regular column in a paper which cares little for its reputation is that you can write whatever you like. You don't have to back any of your cretinous opinions with facts, you don't even have to make coherent arguments; you just spew out those badly-written paragraphs of unfunny humour.

And there was a cartoon sequence by Al Nisbet in the Sunday Star Times, one in which Copenhagen Conference delegates blow hot air into a cloud marked "global warming theory," which then rains taxes. That's all, folks: that is the standard of argument in the papers about the most important issue facing us. It is no wonder we are fucked. It is no wonder that John Key and the Maori Party can get away with their dirty work at the crossroads; it is no wonder that we will be paying for the polluters; because nobody is watching and debate has been commandeered by the likes of Hopkins and Nisbet, people who lack even technical proficiency in their chosen fields, let alone the intellect to make an argument. So, it's all about hot air and women. Ho ho fucken ho.

In other news, April Francis, a 26-year-old Chicago "identity consultant," thinks Margaret Atwood is "mind-blowingingly boring."

Moon Unit Zappa: next exit.