Closely observed trains

I worked with a young man once in the UK who made it his business to have on his computer the entire British train timetable.

He was a newsreader. Not only did he keep a record of the times of train arrivals and departures anywhere in Britain but he learned them off by heart and could recite them. Like Robin Bain, he never washed and he stank, too.

How might one respond to the lastest stream of unconsciousness from Mr Paul Holmes? One could prepare a comprehensive rebuttal of his many and varied utterances; or one could post a photograph of a bottom, such as this one taken from Jiri Menzel's Ostre sledované vlaky.

Love story

Answer here

The joy of slacks

Though she was a tiger lady, our hero did not have to fire a shot to floor her. After one look at his Mr Leggs slacks, she was ready to have him walk all over her. That noble styling sure soothes the savage heart! If you would like your own doll-to-doll carpeting hunt up a pair of these he-man Mr Leggs slacks.

Slacks! Sexism! Sixties! A none-too subtle reminder that the Sexual Revolution had a sexist reaction.

On a brighter note: here it is – the Man-from-Mars Radio Hat. And here are some A-bomb test dummies. And here are the forts of the Thames Estuary. All this and more from Pour 15 Minutes d'Amour.

Men in belted sweaters

And you kids wonder how we wound up with Margaret Thatcher for the next decade.


From Retrospace Zeta

That Seventies shirt

Mid-week quiz, chaps and chapesses: without reading the copy, what do you think the 'very French' reason for wearing the Brigade Shirt could be? Might it be an interest in Gothic architecture, a desire to pose casually, or an interesting desire for shady redheads?

Answers on une carte postale to the usual address.

The summer we discovered Speed

The latest Coddington, with the peculiar title "Don't get heavy on fat in slamming the skinny:"

And here's my point. Why is it open season on skinny women? I know eating disorders are terrible diseases, but they're caused by more complex issues than young women merely gazing at thin models. I know also eating disorders don't cause nearly as much of a drain on the health budget as obesity-related health issues.

You couldn't make it up, could you? Neither could Coddington: she took most of her copy from a Margo White piece in North and South, including the killer conclusion:

"Fashion models are good at being thin and have a right to be. Einstein was good at being a genius, but nobody told him to keep his theories of the universe to himself because it undermined every other physicist."

In between, there is something for everyone, so much that I am not even troubling to argue. Anyway, I like Rosemary McLeod's drawings as well, not that it has anything to do with my argument or, for that matter, Coddington's. So, instead I will illustrate the point I did not make with this adorable magazine cover, which I found on the rather corking Blimey! It's another blog about comics!

Baudrillard 1 Banham 0

What does the term “fair-faced concrete” mean? Officially, “fair-faced concrete” is taken to mean concrete surfaces that fulfil the appearance requirements of DIN 18217 “Concrete surfaces and formwork surface”. Interestingly, this Standard neither mentions nor defines the term “fair-faced concrete”, nor does it set out any precise rules or guidelines for it. The reason given for this (by the German cement industry association “Bundesverband der Deutschen Zementindustrie”) is that there are a number of influences that cannot be foreseen or controlled with absolute certainty in the course of manufacture and on-site job execution

Oh dear. My fellow friends of Brutalism: it seems the concrete we love so dearly for its truth to itself is not true. It is not classified by its own classification. The material which marked the triumph of Modernism turns out to be a simulacrum.

It is all very confusing.

Underwear of the rich and famous

Then, on Friday, it is understood Sally was told her plans for a 10-day cruise around Europe had been cancelled. The trip was to be funded by the Hotchins, who were treating "the people who've been good to him" with a holiday, according to a source. The source said they cancelled the invitation after discovering she had been telling people the couple were paying for her and her children to holiday with them. Sally has recently had to cope with her underwear company, James and August Ltd, going into voluntary liquidation in May.

Pants. It has been a rough week for Sally Ridge. Still, if she is not going anywhere, perhaps she could pay a visit to these Hanover Finance investors:

After losing $80,000 in the failed Hanover finance company, an elderly Auckland couple decided to become guinea pigs in a medical trial to earn some "pocket money". The retired husband and wife earned $300 each for taking part in tests of a new flu vaccine for people aged over 65. The 71-year-old former teacher, who did not want to be named, said she and her husband agreed to the trial after hearing about it from friends. They were given an injection and had to monitor themselves for a week before reporting back to medical staff. "It's a bit of pocket money. Every little bit helps," the woman said. "We have a lot of friends who have lost money but it doesn't matter to them because they have lots of other money. But in our case it was fairly important. " The couple will probably have to sell their home on the North Shore, which they call their "retirement project", to make up for the Hanover losses.

Well, there's a funny coincidence: the Hotchins also have a property on the market.

The seven-bedroom mansion has been a lightning-rod for criticism of Hotchin after Hanover Finance, the company he co-owned with Eric Watson, was frozen in 2008 owing $554m to 16,000 investors. Sorensen said his clients would sell once construction ends later this year."It's no longer appropriate for Mark and Amanda to occupy the house. People can draw their own conclusions why they're selling, but most of them are fairly obvious." The property features included a games room, car wash, two swimming pools and a tennis court.

Obvious reasons – you mean they decided that the car wash was a bit ostentatious, that in these troubled times they could cope with just the one swimming pool? Or perhaps they are worried that the Allied Farmers might turn up, carrying pitchforks:

Allied Farmers is considering “substantial” legal claims against directors, owners and officers of Hanover Group in relation to alleged breaches of duties prior to its controversial debt for equity deal last December. In a statement filed to the stock exchange this morning, Allied Farmers said it would not pay Hanover $5 million due today under a contractual agreement for the purchase of Hanover Finance and United Finance assets in exchange for debentures.

Anyway, back to underwear. Here is another coincidence. Mr Hotchin's business partner, Eric Watson, has another business partner, Dov Charney. Together, they own [TRIGGERING - CONTAINS HIPSTERS] American Apparel [possibly NSFW as well]. This fairtrade hipster haven has its critics:

The marketing of American Apparel is unbelievably misogynistic, and not wholesome in the slightest. Basically every company has a human representation of their product, Nike has the athlete, Macbeth has the punk-rocker, American Apparel has the coked out adolescent who may or may not have an eating disorder.

What's more, they make really awful underwear. And the staff wear this stuff. And the company chooses staff based on their appearance. And the company grooming guides encourage male staff to dress like dorks and female staff to look natural and available. On the positive side, American Apparel is broke.

American Apparel is not Mr Watson's only underwear festish: he owns Bendon and he was once married to an underwear model.

So, in shorts, every day is pantytime for Mr Watson; for Mr Hotchin, every day is a holiday. For the people who lost everything to Hanover Finance every day is hell; but that's limited liability, folks.

At home with the Johnsons

I don't know how you wasted your weekend, but I spent much of mine in Retrospace; there I found many horrors, not the least of which was this advertisement from the Seventies (younger readers will be amused to learn that the Seventies was once called 'the decade that taste forgot,' by The Face magazine in the Eighties – yes, I know).

Fortunately, the Johnsons of Redditch did not set a trend. It turned out that Heinz Salad Cream was just for salads; HP sauce was for breakfast. What's more, not long after this photograph was taken, the English discovered mayonnaise. Then they discovered that there is more to a salad than a bowl of lettuce topped with quarters of tomato. Not much later, they bought those Philippe Starck juicers which long like googie spaceships and which do not work. At about the same time, they bought the River Café Cook Book and started cooking with a blow torch. Later still, they discovered crostini, but did not realise that it is the Italian for toast. Futurologists predict that it will not be long before the British learn to make a decent cup of coffee. Of course, futurologists are usually proven wrong.

According to Wisegeek,

The popularity of salad cream has waxed and waned. At some periods in history, it was viewed primarily as a condiment for the lower classes, and an alternative to mayonnaise, which tended to be more expensive. Middle and upper class families at one time avoided salad cream because they did not want to be perceived as members of a lower class, but this is no longer the case today, although salad cream sometimes pops up in parodies of lower class life in the British media.

More culinary horrors can be found at Misguided Efforts in Cookery. It might not be coincidental that Johnsons of Redditch are the town's Volvo dealership: younger readers will be bemused to learn that the Volvo was the staff car of the English middle class in the Seventies.

Mothers of invention

This I had to share: Seventies rock stars at their parents' homes, parts one and two