And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee

Just when I thought I would have a quiet day nursing the hangover that resulted inevitably from drinking with Craccum editors past and present, Craig Y has sent me this ominous report from Doug Ireland. It's crazy, but it's true: The World Congress of Families will be holding its fourth world congress in sunny Warsaw, a city famed for its concerto, its convention (International air travel, in case you care) and its appalling Stalinist architecture.

Who, what and why (you might ask) is the World Congress of Families? It is a confederation of wild and wacky fundamentalist groups who come together every few years to listen to 'papers' by pseudo-academics on the favourite fundy topics: girls and gays. Its members or delegates or representatives or whatever include:

The Family Research Council, Focus on the Family, International Campaign for the Family, Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute, Family Caucus, Familias Y Sociedad (scorchio!), The Howard Center For Family, European Federation for the Family, Family First Foundation, Red Familia, World Family Policy Center, United Families International, Church of God – Family Ministries, Latin American Alliance for Families

You will by now have learned to be suspicious of any organisation with 'family' in its name, just as you learned to be suspicious of funny men offering you sweeties. You would be right. These people are dreadful and Warsaw is welcome to them.

But (you might ask) why Warsaw? Don't get me wrong: I have nothing against the place, having never been there. I know almost nothing about it, other than that the food in the Polish restaurant near the V&A was very good and what I learned from a Polish ambassador's daughter over dinner not so long ago. It just seems an unusual choice for a world conference destination. Like, I mean, have you seen A Short Film about Killing? The reason why the fundies are going there is on the website:

Europe is almost lost; to a demographic winter and to the secularists.  If Europe goes much of the world will go with it.  Almost alone, Poland has maintained strong faith and strong families, though even Poland comes under severe pressure to change.  Poland has saved Europe before. It is likely she will save Europe again.  On family and population questions, Europe is the battleground in the early years of the 21st Century, and Poland is the pivot point.   It makes abundant sense that The World Congress of Families IV meet among the brave people of Poland.  Poland’s central location will give pro-family groups across the Continent easy access to this Congress.

You see, Poland is now run by twins. One is President and the other Prime Minister. They are identical, so they could swap jobs without anyone knowing or one could have a night off while his brother does the round of diplomatic receptions. A convenient arrangement, you might think, but unfortunately Doug and Dinsdale Kaczynski are even nastier than the World Congress of Families. If you read Ireland's article rather than this one, you will see why.

I could go on but I won't. It's a nice day and I want to have happy thoughts now. So here is one organisation with family in the title that you can trust: Sly and the Family Stone.



If only the fundies would get the message.