Saturday, August 30, 2008

I write this crap so they don't have to

I suppose I should be piqued (observant readers will notice the fabric connotation in my choice of verb) that the Aucklandista should use my tagline of old as a headline for one of its posts; on the other hand I could be flattered. Either way, they have saved me the trouble of writing about the August edition of Metro, particularly its how-to-find-a-lawyer-to-get-you-off-anything article. Yes, you, Metro Reader can afford a shyster who specialises in helping people like you avoid a drunk-in-charge conviction. This means you can carry on drinking and driving; and they won't take your Audi away; meanwhile, you can continue ranting about those South Auckland kids, how they need discipline and to learn respect.

One further thought: should not Robyn be a Wellingtonista by now? Answers on a postcard to the usual address; the winner will receive a Bakelite telephone by return mail.

7 comments:

Robyn said...

You know, I don't think Aucklandista Jo is an old Fundy Post reader. It's a coincidence, mmkay? Google gives 7300 hits for "we read it so you don't have to" so there are lots of people out there taking a bullet.

I heard a rumour that Robyn is a fully fledged member of the Wellingtonista but she just hasn't got around to updating her profile. I also hear that she has access to a plethora of bakelite phones.

Paul said...

Robyn,

it's not that big a deal, mmkay?

Robyn said...

This is unacceptable! I won't rest until a blog has been created that examines this very subject, and for it to appear as a poll on Stuff.co.nz.

P.S. Did my first response come across sternly? I wrote it in bed. Perhaps I should have added some lolz.

Paul said...

Um, yes; I was a bit scared. Lulz are good. How people in the past managed to convey their emotions without them is beyond my ken.

As a matter of fact, I wrote my post in bed, under the influence of the bottle of Merlot I bought at Foodtown as a substitute for going out and talking to people.

harvestbird said...

Perhaps Metro is also doing it for the lulz, hence the relative amorality of their lead article.

As for the gravity of posts written in bed, I do not understand it. Aren't we all supposed to be luxuriating in high-thread count sheets while carefully-positioned magnets vibrate away our aches and (drunken) pains?

Paul said...

Should we be? Is that in our contract somewhere?

harvestbird said...

Ah. I wrote that comment after seeing the semi-regular Magnetic Underlay promotional slot on Good Morning, this morning. It angries up my blood a little, just like the woman who promotes supplements that boost the immune system on the same show. I want to ask her if said supplements are good for people with HIV, therefore.

Please resume normal drinking and blogging, everyone.