Cut your hair

He's also extremely funny, as evidenced by the piece from which the book takes its title. It contains the following advice: "Never follow an artist who describes his or her work as dark"; "No band does anything new onstage after the first 20 minutes"; and "The band with the most tattoos has the worst songs". He nods: "It's the sheer volume of tattoos that's the problem. It's not like the old days, when maybe someone from the Sensational Alex Harvey Band would have maybe an anchor on his bicep. It's full body now. So obviously the bands are in the tattoo parlour a lot. I think they should be in the practice room."

Robert Forster writes, and sings: