Minor members of the Royal Family – including the Earl of
Catford and the Hon Humphrey ffoulkes-Thynne, Thegn of Thanet – join the popular
music combo One Direction for a spirited rendition of Spem in Alium. As they sing, five hundred female students of
Eng Lit commingle with an equivalent number of City types, forming into pairs
for a spirited display of synchronised spanking that both pays tribute to
Britain’s latest literary sensation and symbolises Britain’s dire financial
straits. Members of the Bullingdon Club look on and snort. As an old London Pea
Souper fog rolls across the stadium, the reddened buttocks of the students glower with such instensity that the form of a Remembrance Day poppy
appears, one that can be seen from the Shard.
The fog clears, to reveal a desolate civic centre in the
Festival style, where the pound shops have been undercut by the 99p shops,
where the only food is fried and on a stick and where the At-risk Youth
Secure Accommodation Facility is now called an academy. Suddenly, the eery
silence is broken: a vast rubber johnny billows up, from within which can be
heard a cacophany of young voices, all of them complaining about
something. Dramatically, the condom (designed
by Zaha Hadid) splits and out of it tumbles a host of chavs and chavettes.
Dressed by Adidas and Burberry, they slouch towards the Social Security office.
For today is Giro Day. And this is Britain, sea-girt and
rather desperate.
Broadcast:
No comments:
Post a Comment