Sunday, December 19, 2010

Telling lies for money

Colenso BBDO executive creative director Nick Worthington added: "I don't think a beer brand wants to be the guardians of history, we want to tell great stories."
DB Export marketing manager Dave Shoemack said: "We simply wanted to create a commercial that told the DB Export story and that is exactly what we have done."
No, you did not. You made it up; both of you. There are stories which are true, or at least are attempts at truth. There are stories which are false; this has been one of them. This story is untrue because it is presented as history but the events it describes did not occur.

Or, to put it another way, why do this advertising people think they are telling great stories when they are telling lies? If you met some bloke in the pub who told you a story like this one, you would call him a liar. Yet the people who make the piss and the people who market it for them think that telling a lie is telling a great story.

There is no point in complaining about it: the industry is self-regulated, the Advertising Standards Authority being run by the advertising industry. It has lots of codes, including one for liquor. However, the subject of telling lies is not covered by this or any other code. If it were, much advertising would break the code. It would not make much difference, since the ASA has no power and no intention to do anything.

And thus it is that people lie to us in order to persuade us to buy their products. Alcoholic drinks in many respects are very harmful products, yet advertisers are allowed to tell lies to sell them, and justify their lying as telling stories.
"Look mum, I'm a story teller now; I'm on top of the world."
"No you are not son, you are a liar. And get off that gas tank."

Pic unrelated. There has been no rainfall inside the Later with Jools Holland studio since records began. However, the Charlatans are not taking any chances:


Anonymous said...

Surely it's just a matter of degree. They lie to us every time they claim DB doesn't taste like crap.

Paul said...

How true.

Kingsley Amis imagined a beer advertisement which said "Drink Beer. It makes you drunk." That is all you need, really.

Peter in Dundee said...

Except that there are faster ways of getting pissed than drinking beer. Such as the 16yo Jura* we had yesterday on an empty stomach. Or we would have if we had had more than one small dram each.

*The local Co-op had a half bottle for 16 quid and since it's xmas . . .

For the record it is very nice, almost like a cognac (but still on the right side of being a whisky) with citrus notes and spice. Rich, complex and warming (we have snow).

So if you want to get pissed take your beer and distil it (though take the hops out first).

Anonymous said...

Why rush?

Boganette said...

That photo - what is this I don't even.

Paul said...

From the Guardian: students protesting about the fees hike demonstrated at the Tate Gallery on the night of the Turner Prize. As usual at these occasions, someone decided to get her kit off.

Paul said...

Jura, at a pound a year is very good value.

Anonymous said...

Is the guy dressed up as a rozzer part of the demonstration?

He doesn't look very authentic.

Perhaps that's because he's not beating the crap out of the others.